Birch
I am not going to lie, I was apprehensive about my trip to current talk-of-the-town hotel-meets-member’s-club, Birch.
A handy half hour from Liverpool Street, Birch is in Cheshunt, Hertfordshire. Described widely as ‘the future of hotels’, the painfully cool photography on the website, featuring models doing what can only be described as some sort of interpretative dance with balloons, implied a certain level of intimidating (and rather tedious) uber coolness, which is not my bag at all.
Birch is the brainchild of the former MD of Shoreditch’s Ace Hotel, Chris Penn. In a previous life, the Grade II listed mansion was the former party pad of 19th century socialite Lady Meux, who was known for her wild gatherings, indoor roller skating rink and for painting her horses to look like zebras (hence the name of the hotel’s restaurant – more on that below).
Since those hedonistic days, the building has been through many iterations; most recently as a DeVere hotel; signs of which remain, but have been cleverly transformed. Chintzy bathroom tiles have been painted Millennial Pink, old carpets have been ripped up to reveal original floorboards and spectacular mosaics, whilst beautiful ceiling plasterwork and miles of elaborate cornicing remains. Throughout, the period features are simply stunning and have been incorporated beautifully by Birch.
We were welcomed by friendly reception staff and sent off in the direction of our room. Sweeping, high ceilinged corridors lead us past vast, electric blue double-height staircases, the screening room (all deckchairs and big cushions and a variety films shown throughout the day – and not just highbrow ones either – more like the brilliant Paddington 2), and on to more inviting rooms with distressed walls, modern art, yet more period features, and stylish cane work furniture with pops of neon velvet. It’s gorgeous. And the mantra, it seems, is very free and easy – you are welcome to explore and relax wherever you like.
Our room (there are 140 in total) was equally as inviting and effortlessly stylish, huge windows overlooked a lawn complete with bubbling fountain. Muted colours, more canework, dried flowers and handblown glass lampshades dangling above the very big bed. It was quite sparse, but I found that calming, and it still managed to feel cosy.
The bathroom has had little work done since the DeVere days (the crusty old shower head over the rather uninviting bath included) but now there are fluffy towels, nice soaps and a terrarium to boot. It’s important to note that the rooms have no tea and coffee making facilities, no mini bar and there is no room service either – Birch’s stripped back approach is to encourage you to make the most of what the hotel has to offer, and my gosh there’s a lot.
Birch boasts an interactive bakery, pottery studio, art room, games room, music room, gym, several yoga/meditation/pilates studios and more. The timetable of activities (some of which are included, some at extra cost) span from Bauhaus plate painting, glass blowing and terrarium workshops, to macramé making, nature walks and baking classes; already I wished we were staying for a week.
Having said all that, if activities aren’t your thing, there’s a plethora of meeting rooms and workspaces mingled with bars, restaurants and lounges, so there’s plenty of space to work, or kick back and relax with coffee or cocktail, or two. There are also vast grounds to explore, complete with farm animals (I fell in love with the rescued hens or ‘The Girls’, as they are known), running trails to follow and fire pits to cosy up next to when night falls. At Birch, anything goes.
We did a brilliant soda bread making session with the completely lovely John the baker, and I did a terrific candle making workshop, hosted by home scent specialists Earl of East. It was all so laid back and relaxed, and just so enjoyable, that before I knew it, it was time to eat.
When it comes to food, you’ve got two choices; the casual all-day brasserie Valerie’s (for members and hotel guests only, also where breakfast is served) or The Zebra Riding Club - Birch’s gourmet dining offering, which is open to all.
We opted for ZRC, as I wanted channel more of Lady Meux’s decadent vibes. Housed in the old, high ceilinged barn where Lady M supposedly kept her horses, I mean zebras, the beautiful restaurant has lots of beams, a huge wood fired oven, a long bar and an open kitchen draped in dried foliage. ‘Led by nature’ is the mantra here, so strictly seasonal ingredients mostly sourced from Birch’s on site farm are served, in tasting menu form (£45pp). At the helm is Robin Gill, who I admire hugely, the man behind London restaurants such as The Dairy (RIP), Darby's, Sorella and the new and very delicious Bermondsey Larder.
On arrival, the maître d' was a tad snooty, but otherwise the service was spot on and the food was creative, incredibly delicious and beautifully presented – heritage grains with Kentish corn and Birch egg, ember oil razor clams with spiced mussel broth, and lemon balm rice pudding were just some of the many delicious highlights. I also had a very fine Old Fashioned, made with sap syrup collected from Birch’s trees, no less.
The 10pm curfew rather curtailed our fun, but we were went sent off into the night with a paper bag of fresh canelés from the bakery, which we were only too happy to devour in our big bed.
Breakfast (not included) is a casual affair – it’s served until a very reasonable midday so you can partake whenever you get the urge, and baker John’s fresh pastries are just too divine.
We finished our stay with a very wholesome and inspiring guided walk around the grounds with Birch’s resident farmer Tom Morphew, who was very entertaining and incredibly interesting and passionate about the wonders of nature and the importance of biodiversity.
It’s early days (Birch only opened in August) so things still aren’t perfect, but they are pretty close. It is undoubtedly an extraordinary and unique place to say – and it’s reasonable. Double rooms start at £150 a night and if you stay at the weekend Birch will give you Sunday night free. It is a joyful, stylish escape, where you can rest, play, learn, make, explore, eat, drink and generally have a wonderful time, surrounded by both natural beauty and Instagrammable interiors to die for, and despite what the photos on the website might lead you to believe, it doesn’t take itself too seriously.
And this is all just phase one - construction on a lido is already underway, beauty treatments are planned, and I hear that a second location has already been earmarked. Global domination is on the cards, methinks. The day after I got home, The Times proclaimed that Birch is currently the best hotel in the UK. I think they might be right.
Double rooms from £150 per night birchcommunity.com
Review published October 2020 on Essential Surrey & SW London
Photo credits: Lifestyle imagery: © Birch, Photos by Nicole Bachmann Interior and Exterior imagery: © Birch, Photos by Adam Firman. Design imagery: © Photos by Fergus Coyle
